Bits of Humor A NEW SPOKE IN THE HUB The first day at school a little girl presented herself who looked very much like a true daughter of Italy. "You're an Italian?" asked the teacher. "No'm," was the astonishing reply. "But wasn't your father born in Italy?" "Yes'm." "And wasn't your mother born in Italy?" "Yes'm." "Well, you must be an Italian." "No'm," she answered, "I'm Irish. I was born in Boston." * * * * * History Teacher- "What battle was the turning point of the Revolutionary War?" Dozing Student- " I don't know, I had a borrowed book this morning." * * * * * Teacher- "Helen, can you tell me who succeeded Edward VI?" Helen- "Mary." Teacher- "Now, Alice, who followed Mary?" Alice (absent-minded)- "Her little lamb." * * * * * Young Lady- "Were you pleased with the new school, little boy?" Willie- "Naw! Dey made me wash me face an' when I went home de dorg bit me 'cause he didn't know me." * * * * * "Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?" asked the teacher. "Because its head is so far away from its body," hopefully replied the boy. * * * * * Teacher- "Why did the South lose in the Civil War?" Student- "Because they didn't have enough land to fight on." * * * * * Father- "Why is it that you are always at the bottom of the class?" Johnny- "It doesn't made any difference, daddy; they teach the same things at both ends." * * * * * Teacher- "In this vast, limitless expanse of nature, my young friends, man is so infinitesimal that it makes me feel like a little grub." Student- "Well let's go out to the store and get some, then." * * * * * "Have you a good radio set?" "Yes! I set and set, set, set, set, and all I hear is whistle." * * * * * A boy applied at an office for a job. "Have you an opening for a bright, clean, tidy, boy?" he asked. "Yes, and close it when you go out," came the reply. * * * * * "I'll explain deduction," said the young student, airing his knowledge in the home circle. "In our backyard, for example, is a pile of ashes. By deduction, that is evidence that we've had fires going this winter." "By the way, Joe," broke in his father, "You might go out and sift the evidence."